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  • 您現在的位置:首頁 > 短語 > 搞笑短語

    經 典 的 屁 話

    時間:2014-09-04 / 點擊:次 / 文章投稿
      1."為何現在的女人上面穿羽絨服下面卻穿絲襪.""問得好!因為鮮奶要保溫、火腿要冷藏.”
      2.他們說網絡很假,我笑了,好像現實很真一樣。
      3、如果你同時愛上了兩個人,請選擇第二個.因為如果你真的愛第一個,就不會愛上第二個.
      4.不要讓你的女朋友有藍顏,因為她藍著藍著你就綠了,不要讓你的男朋友有紅顏,因為他紅著紅著你倆就黃了。
      5.順眼了,追了,好了,吻了,吵了,淡了,厭了,散了,假裝不認識了,背后罵你了,徹底不認識了,以至于讓我崩潰了
      6.當今社會,生米煮成熟飯已經沒有用了,就算變成爆米花,該跑的還是會跑。
      7.我不是超級瑪麗,頂不出你要的人民幣。
      8.女人愛化妝,男人愛說謊。女人化妝欺騙男人的眼。男人說謊欺騙女人的心
      9.都說男人是騙子、誰又知道有多少男人被女人騙過。
      10.女人總羨慕紅太狼有那么愛她的灰太狼,卻忘記了灰太狼沒抓到羊的這幾年,紅太狼對他的不離不棄
      11.說了晚安去睡的人、往往半小時以后還在得瑟丶
      12.︶╯﹣她們都裝處。我只好裝經驗豐富
      13.KTV里,我們喊破嗓子唱著自己不敢說的心情
      14.一直對發型不滿意的人,有一個共同點:不肯承認這是臉的問題。
      15.他嬸的,(失戀33天)就可以拍一部電影,那哥的失戀經歷都可以拍一部電視劇了。
      16.再丑的人也能結婚、再美的人也有單身-
      17.一個比紅鉆還紅的女人,愛上了一個比黃鉆還黃的男人。最后來了個比綠鉆還綠的小三,生出個兒子,叫會員。
      18.-男人啊男人,別嫌女人煩.不讓你抽煙不讓你喝酒.等到她有一天去煩別人了,你就樂呵了是不是?
      19.CF頁面上的那句禁止未成年人進入,就跟煙盒上的那句吸煙有害健康一樣,都是廢話
      20.¢其實單身挺好、和誰曖昧都不需要解釋。
      21.討厭我。沒關系,我不介意。我活著不是為了取悅你。
      22.月老,你能不能別在用劣質的線給我牽了嘛,隔三差五就斷。
      23."好名聲,是女人最好的嫁妝ヽ。
      24.我覺得《傷不起》比《忐忑》還嚇人//
      25.-------。一句我難受,可以換來多少人的一句我馬上就來
      26.總有一群隱身的朋友如死人一般躺在你的好友列表里,偶爾詐詐尸,時不時還會改改他們的墓志銘。
      27.暗戀我的人。你們怎么那么沉得住氣阿
      28.你曾通話對我說:“你是我的全部。”兩年后一次通話:“你是誰”?
      29.這么拼命只是想讓曾經看不起我的人,閉嘴。
      30.甲:好燙乙:什么燙甲:水乙:慢點喝甲:洗腳水…
      31.-十年前,我能一掌打死你爸爸,十年后我照樣能一掌打死你...去死吧死蚊子~!!
      32.問一個淡淡的問題:鳥兒為什么愛在電線上排排坐?最佳解釋是,在線才能聊天。
      33.//潑出去的水,老子連盆子都不要了.
      34.剛剛一男生加了姐的Q說我喜歡上你了!姐沉默了一會說:怎么說得像你上過我似的?
      35.成功人生四步曲:1、耐住寂寞;2、抵住誘惑;3、懂得放棄;4、學會選擇
      36.有多少人因為沒錢而失去一段幸福
      37.明明只刪了一個你,卻空了一www.yzmyzd.com 整個列表﹌
      38.其實,想開了,世界上的一切問題,都能用“關你屁事”和“關我屁事”來回答。。。
      39.賣花的小姑娘拉著我:“大哥哥,買花吧,一看就知道你是花心的人”……
      40.-得不到并不可怕守不住才是個笑話
      41.我笑了有多少情侶因為父母的一句不同意而分手
      42.忘記一個人只需要兩樣新歡與時間
      43.男人沒錢才會說女人愛錢//
      44.喊疼的不一定是處女但勾引男人的一定是**。
      45.女人沒有所謂的忠貞,只要出現了對她更好的人,她就會變心
      46.゛つ-胖子看武俠劇最喜歡聽的一句臺詞就是“瘦死吧!”.____゛
      47.“爾康,你現在幸福嗎?”“紫薇,你忘了?我一直就姓福啊!”
      48.你臉上的痘真多,拖拉機開上去都會翻車!
      49.每天起床,都要和心愛的被子上演:抵死纏綿、你儂我儂、戀戀不舍、含恨而去的虐心虐身虐戀大戲
      50.人生為棋我愿為卒行動雖慢可誰曾見我后退一步。
      51.老師說:快要中考了,早戀的就不要吵架了,以免影響心情;沒早戀的就不要表白了,以免被拒絕影響心情
      52.﹏丶男人總是說一套做一套,關鍵時候還帶個套//
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