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    夢里花落知多少

    時間:2016-09-05 / 點擊:次 / 文章投稿

      很少人知道我當過中學語文教師,因為相對于二十來年的記者生涯,它太短了,僅一年。

      可我經常懷念那一年。

      1983年,剛走出大學校門的我,被分配在市里的一所中學教初一的語文,還兼班主任。

      生性率直的我,感覺這個不茍言笑的職業太痛苦了。初來乍到發生的一連串的事情,更讓我手足無措。

      

    夢里花落知多少

     

      那個時候,校方規定學生一律不得穿牛仔褲上學。每天早晨,校門口就守著幾位拿著小本的值日生,將穿牛仔褲的學生攔住,勸他們回家換服裝。有一天,值日生將穿著牛仔褲的我給攔住了,問我是高中部哪個班級的學生。恰好有個老師經過,幫我解了圍。她一邊陪我上樓,一邊語重心長地對我說,老師應該給學生作表率,“你看看,全校老師沒有一個穿牛仔褲的。”

      第二天,我就換了一條黑裙子,女老師常選擇的那種。黑色常常代表莊重。穿了裙子的我又在走廊上被老校長叫住了,他和藹地提醒我,是不是把披在肩上的長發扎起來,因為校方也要求女生不能留披肩發的。還說,有個班主任反映,她班上有個女生不肯剪去長發,并振振有詞地辯解“范老師也是這個發型”。

      我一聽,也覺得事情嚴重了。仔細地留意了一下女老師們的發型,她們都像是找同一個理發師剪理的,短發齊耳,唯一的裝飾品也僅是一枚黑色的細發夾。

      在大家的勸說下,我下課后走進了學校附近的一家理發店。

      理發師是個胖胖的婦女,她用手托起我長長的黑發,有些不忍地舉起了剪刀:“你可考慮好,這一剪子下去,就像腦袋掉在地上,可是接不起來的哦!”

      我咬咬牙沒有作聲,只聽剪刀在我的脖后連續發出冷冷的“咔嚓”聲。女理發師從鏡子里發現我的眼淚奪眶而出,以為剪到了我的頭皮,后來才理解了我的疼從何而來。從小到大,我都梳著清湯掛面似的長發,上面也曾留下了姥姥溫暖的手溫,此刻,它們一起飄落在地。

      老校長再次碰見我,很滿意地夸道“好”。我的目光凝視著操場上一排綠化樹,它們被修理得齊齊整整,宛若一個籠里蒸出的圓潤的大饅頭。

      剪了短發的我,在同行眼里仍然不像個老師。至于老師應該是個什么樣兒,他們也說不太清楚。

      有一天,我正在教室上課,喊一位同學回答問題,那位同學上課分了心,回答得南轅北轍,我忍不住想笑,但內心有個聲音嚴肅地提醒我:老師不能當著學生的面笑。可是他慌亂的第二次補答,更是讓人忍俊不禁,我實在憋不住,放聲笑起來,后來竟伏在講臺上直不起身。課堂當然解了大禁,那個同學也和大家一起笑得前仰后合。這一切恰恰被在走廊上巡視的老校長看見。

      自然,我受到了嚴厲的批評。他是個非常敬業的人,一生嚴謹,腰板挺直,灰白的頭發紋絲不亂,藏藍色的中山裝的領扣從來都是嚴嚴實實的。老人的心地非常善良,只是常常出格的我,不能不讓他傷心。這讓我很過意不去,又奈何自己不得。

      每天早晨,校園僅有的一張乒乓球水泥臺桌常常被高年級的學生霸占著,初一的學生只能眼巴巴地看他們打球。我想了一個主意,從此早早地趕到學校,將自己的大包往乒乓球桌上一撂,俗稱占臺子。膽子再大的學生也不敢和老師爭桌子,于是,我們班的學生終于有了摸摸乒乓球拍的機會。他們有時也嚷著讓我上陣,但很快就將我打得落花流水,我只好重新排在隊尾。上課的鈴聲一響,大家比賽似的朝教室飛奔,有時裝備課本的包會遺落在樹杈上,學生會氣喘吁吁地拎著它追上來:“老師,你的書包。”

      老是搶占乒乓球桌,也不符合我常常給學生講的機會均等的道理。后來,我鼓勵大家跳繩。可是沒有人天生愛甩繩子,尤其是孩子們。自然,天天給他們甩繩的還是我。當長長的繩兒在空中劃著優美的圓弧,蕩起孩子們銀鈴般的笑聲,我感覺自己正穿過長長的時空隧道,回到歡樂的少年時代,生活的陰云也暫時一掃而空。

      當我和學生在操場上游戲的時候,老師們卻在走廊上搖頭嘆息,他們怎么也沒想到,學校費了好大的勁兒才爭取來一個年輕的大學生,偏偏分來個仿佛永遠長不大的我。

      直到期終考試的時候,我們班優異的成績才讓大家放下心:還好,沒有誤人子弟。

      而這一年,也發生了不少令我至今難忘的事情。

      有一次,上課鈴響了,我夾著課本走進教室,發現室內亂成一鍋粥:一個瘦長的男生舉著根布拖把當長劍,將同學們攆得像燕兒飛。平日他也令我有些頭痛,不是上課打呼嚕,就是將紙團冒充小白鼠塞進同桌的衣領里,嚇得同學哇哇大哭。

      這一回,我不再放過他。大家都各就其位之后,我生氣地讓他站起來,接著像老師慣常做的那樣,讓他放學后請他的父親到學校來。他一聽請家長,倔強地昂起頭“我沒有父親”。“那就叫你的母親來!”我依然不饒他。他低下頭不作聲,半晌,有個同學輕聲地說:“老師,他也沒有母親。”

      我愣住了,不知道該如何是好。同學們仿佛為我打氣,紛紛舉手:“他還有個叔叔!”我終于可以下臺了:“那好,讓你叔叔來一趟。”

      下午放學了,學校很快靜如空巢。我獨自留在辦公室等他的家人。黃昏將臨的時候,還未見他的人影,我準備收拾東西回家,正欲下樓的時候,卻震驚地發現他背著一個老太太艱難地登上了辦公室所在的4樓。

      “她是我的奶奶。”他吃力地放下背上的老人后,抹著滿頭的汗水喃喃地介紹。我趕緊將老人扶到椅子上,遞上一杯熱水。還未等我開口,老人就哭了,告訴我,他的父母自他剛會學說話就離婚了,誰也不肯要他,一直跟著叔叔和她過日子。他叔叔是習武之人,擔心這個沒爹沒娘的孩子受人欺侮,便教他拳腳功夫。由于恨鐵不成鋼,平日下手那個狠,誰見誰怕。如果讓他叔叔知道了他在學校不聽話,又難逃過一陣暴打。所以,奶奶代他叔來見老師。

      我開始后悔自己隨意請家長的輕率。老人說,他功課不行,但是孝順老人在鄰里卻是出了名的,擔心她這雙小腳行走不便,先是用三輪車載她走,又硬要背著她上樓,也不怕人見了笑話。

      那個黃昏,我們仨坐在辦公室聊起了家常,我也談起了我的姥姥。后來,我們仨都流淚了,他更是哭得像個小孩子。

      從那之后,他漸漸變了。雖然學習成績還是不如人意,但上課的眼神卻是專注的。我知道他在盡力。

      這一年,我在學校過了第一個教師節,手里捧滿了學生送給我的賀卡。那一天,也是個黃昏,圍著我的同學漸漸散去。一直夾在人群中的他似乎等待著這一刻。他靦腆地走近我,從口袋里掏出一把炒黃豆塞到我的手里,然后飛快地跑了……

      握著這把尚帶有體溫的黃豆,剎那間,我熱淚盈眶!

      這學年的最后一課結束了,當清理書本的時候,我發現書本里夾著一張紙條:親愛的姐姐,我們都認為你的長發好看。署名是:全體同學。

      就在新學年即將開始的時候,我接到了剛復刊的《武漢晚報》發來的錄用通知,心里卻有一種悵然若失的感覺。

      辦完調動手續的那天是個雨天,校園正在上課,操場上空無一人。我撐著傘緩緩經過草坪,向校門走去。突然樓上的走廊傳來一陣喧嘩聲,不少學生竟從教室里沖出來,紛紛跑下樓,向我奔過來。老師不知道發生了什么事情,也紛紛沖出教室,勸阻他們的狂奔。

      我與其說感動,不如說被這一幕驚駭了,焦急地揮著雙手大聲地勸他們返回教室,他們不聽。圍住我的學生興奮地告訴我,有個同學從教室敞開的后門發現了我,率先跑了出來,于是我來學校的消息便傳遍了整條走廊,原來我教的那個班級已經打散,分到了二年級的各個班級。

      學生們的這種送行方式自然太出格,經我的央求還有校園門衛的干預,他們最終返回了教室。從教室傳來了訓斥聲,我知道他們在這節課的命運。

      當我離開校門的時候,回轉身望見教學樓的陽臺上站著一個老人,那是老校長。他的發絲愈發地白了,但腰板還是那么硬朗。我猜想他一定看見了先前發生的那一幕,抱愧地欲向他解釋,他擺擺手示意我不用解釋,像個孩子似的對我頑皮地一笑,緩緩地做了個手勢,好像對我說什么。雨大,我沒聽清。

      他大聲地重復,我明白了,他說我的頭發長長了。

      多年之后,我看了影片《放牛班的春天》。影片講述的是一位善良的教師怎樣用音樂的力量感化了一群頑皮學生的故事,劇情是在那個教師離開學校那一刻結束的:他走出校門的那天,孩子們正在上課,當他悵然若失地提著那只簡陋的皮箱拐過教學樓的時候,忽然從窗口里飛出陣陣天籟般的歌聲……

      我的眼睛和那位男教師一起濕潤了。

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