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  • 您現在的位置:首頁 > 日記 > 情感日記

    悠悠網絡情

    時間:2014-09-04 / 點擊:次 / 文章投稿
      不知道是不是每一個上網的人,都會有過這樣的經歷:剛開始和誰都愛聊,直到某一天遇到某個人之后,才發現,之前的那些,都是浮云。自此以后,你會誰也看不上,這個人的到來,讓你再也沒有興趣去重復回答或提問相同的話題。曾經滄海難為水,是的,真的,真的會有這樣的感覺,這個人,他即使和你天天聊,聊了整整一年還想聊,還想見;而有的人,卻讓你很快的厭倦,甚至會一天,一次聊天之后,就不想再見,再也不想見。
      
      條件好了,經濟發展了,科技發達了,電話通了,傳呼機走過了,手機不斷更新換代,招遙著走進了千家萬戶,扣扣出現了,微信誕生了……我們的世界五光十色,瞬息萬變。可是我們的感情卻越來越壓抑,找不到藉以表達的出口。
      
      曾經,我們用書信的形式,讓澎湃感情在文字里纏綿。我們,通過一封封書信,傳遞著我們對愛人,對父母,對孩子,對朋友同事的愛,祝福與感恩。我們在深夜里伏案疾書,我們斟字酌句的表達著自己對收信人深深的情意,沒有復制,沒有轉發,沒有批量生產的可能。
      
      每一封書信都情深意重,每一次的投遞都無限的真誠。可是今天,空間的祝福千篇一律,朋友的問候都是電子傳書。還是有很大部分的人不是巧舌如簧之輩,沒有勇氣對著電話,講出那些想要表達的思念和祝福。人,終究是感情最豐富的動物,無論社會怎么發展,科技如何進步,人的內心,對感情的渴望和追求都從未停止過。
      
      或許因此,我們把感情的表達與付出轉嫁到千里外素不相識的網絡友人身上,于是,很多人,都說,和枕邊人說著謊話,和陌生人說心里話。和身邊人聊生活,卻和陌生人談感情。不知道這,究竟是文明的進步,還是退步。
      
      我也是性格內向的人,我也沒有勇氣抱著電話說出像“我想你”之類的話。所以,才會在網絡里兜兜轉轉,尋尋覓覓,直到有一天遇見你,遇見那小我十歲的你。
      
      和你相逢于空間家園里,那是我第一次進秘密。
      
      或許剛開始有一些曖昧的氣息。或許是因為秘密里那樣的相識。但是很快,我就被你工整細膩的文字,無懈可擊的標點,乖巧又調皮的表情所吸引。你才思敏捷,彬彬有禮,用你的話說,我,是被你征服了。我沒有否認,好吧,我承認,我愿意滿足你可愛的小小虛榮心。其實我是一下就喜歡上你的,真的喜歡了。不喜歡的人,會很快的厭倦,聊到想逃;喜歡的,真的會一眼千年。這是一種感覺,和現實里的感情是相似的。
      
      那年你24歲。那年我34歲。那時候你正網戀。那時候我正苦悶。那時候我是那樣誠實的向你傾吐我心里難以對人言說更加羞于出口的所謂的秘密。因為不相識,所以無顧忌。
      
      而你也告訴我一些關于你和你女朋友的故事,曾經的,過去的,當時的。日子,在你的陪伴下變得悠閑而愉悅。等你上線,成了我每天的必修課,和你聊天,是我生活中最快樂的時光。
      
      那時候覺得你成熟,溫柔,貼心,紳士,我心里為你貼上所有美好的標簽。你是那樣完美無瑕,你是那樣溫文爾雅。你略帶羞澀的表情,清清純純的話語,如春風般輕柔的撫慰我的情緒,像陽光那樣溫暖地灑落我的心田。每次見你時我總會在心里默默感嘆,年輕,真好。
      
      和你一起的時候,我仿佛真的年輕了十歲。或許人最怕的不是衰老,最怕的,是容顏已老,心,卻不肯老去。我感受著你的安撫和關懷,盡管,那只是文字上的,但仍然讓我感覺到快樂和溫馨。
      
      還記不記得最初接聽你的電話時的情景?那時候我好緊張啊,握著電話的手都在顫抖,聽到你的聲音都會心跳加速,每次接了你的電話,都會緊張得渾身是汗。你總是會笑笑說我:好傻啊,有什么好緊張的。
      
      還記得你曾答應我的三件事么?雖然是在網上,雖然初初相識,那份感動我至今仍然記憶猶新,想起你,想起你的那股認真的勁兒,心仍然潮潮的,想哭。
      
      和差不多的網友一樣,短暫的新鮮過后。你也不再時常找我了。就算我發信息給你,你還是會回,還是會說那句話:你任何時候都可以找我的。你總是說,等你有空,就好好陪陪我。而我,我就為你這句話,一直傻傻的等著。
      
      直到有一天,你和你網戀的女友分手了。你難過,你傷心了,那段日子,我盡我最大的努力守著你,雖然不在身邊,卻也時時聯系。那次,你說,以后你找女朋友,也要能接受我這個姐姐的,聽你這么說我很感動。你說:她們早晚都會離開,只有姐姐不會。無論怎樣,都不會丟下我,沖著你這份心意,我覺得我所有的期待,和付出,都值了。
      
      從那以后,為了撫慰你失戀的傷,我每天給你說早安,晚安。你也用你體貼關懷回報我的真誠。努力的幫你挽留舊愛,看著你又結新歡,看著你換女友,心疼著你的心疼,快樂著你的快樂。看你幸福快樂陪你傷心落淚,我心里那種酸酸的感覺你永遠不會了解。
      
      我知道金無赤足,人無完人。喜歡,或許也是一種愛,只是不是那種特定意義上的愛情。很多愛,通常都是會本能的護短的……所以我,喜歡著你的細致,認真,體貼,善良,溫情;也包容著你的小氣,自私,和花言巧語。像縱容一個孩子那樣維護著你。
      
      我渴望這一切都是真的。我是多想要正大光明的擁有這份純純的感情。一個你很聰明,真的很合我的心意。你總會在我欲言又止時讀懂我的話里的含義,你總能準確無誤的捕捉我想說又怕說出口的心事。可是你有時候的反應實在太快,跨越得太多。你太過聰明的反應終于釀下禍端,把我們之間這份美好而純潔的感情置于風口浪尖,逼到絕路上。
      
      你說:破鏡是不可能重圓的。你還在,我還在,只是有些東西,真的回不去了。再也找不回當初的感覺。這話好刺心。聽得我直掉淚,聽得我好心痛。我對你,雖不說情深似海,可是情同手足……可是,有誰見過吵架后就不再相認的母子,有誰見過打架后不再相認的兄弟,有誰見過誤會后無法釋懷的親人?
      
      你說,那個抱抱的表情,你記得我曾說過很不喜歡,可是每次,你還是忍不住想要發。你可知道,聽你這樣說我多心疼。那一刻真想緊緊抱抱你,不去管什么世俗的眼光,不在乎飛短流長,流言誹語。我也懂,擁抱不一定就是兒女私情,我們之間的擁抱,應該代表信任,貼心,支持和疼惜。可是我怕你誤會,畢竟你只有24歲。
      
      我不要你發那個表情,最主要的原因,是怕你多心,就是怕你誤會,我只想給我們的感情正確的一個定位。你在我心里,像親人一樣珍貴,比親人更加知心……我真的好想你,還想聽你甜甜的叫聲姐姐,想每天收到你的早安,晚安。那些日子,那些溫暖的歲月,那份彌足珍貴的感情,真的回不去,真的就一去不返了么?
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