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    那一場凌亂的風花雪月

    時間:2016-09-05 / 點擊:次 / 文章投稿

      (1)星星睡不著,和我一起想你

      季云朵從我的左眼閃了出來,跳向了右眼,然后被我的思緒牢牢地控制住,他動身不得。我簡直就像一個超女,將季云朵的身影控制在以我為圓心以他和我之間的距離為半徑的圓內,雖然他張揚、亂放不羈,但我還是念著他。

      這便是我每天的生活

      

    那一場凌亂的風花雪月

     

      他時常埋著頭,不知所措地做著屬于自己的功課。他就是如此地肆無忌憚,從不介意語文老師的教鞭無情地落在他的身上。他總是會回過頭,笑容從我開始,到老師那兒終止,然后揚揚頭,對老師說道:“你的課我不愛聽,我都會了,要不要我給你背一下整篇的《木蘭詩》。”

      老師的眼神里藏滿了憂國憂民。她無奈地搖頭后,背轉身去,身子向前移動了,手卻順勢伸進季云朵的抽屜里,一只精致的小錦盒被端了出來,那里面據說藏著季云朵所有的心事與希望,我詫異萬分地望著一觸即發的形勢,因為季云朵早已經怒不可遏,他做好了戰爭的準備。

      語文老師笑了笑,然后靦腆地將錦盒交給他,一邊走著一邊嚷嚷著:“你呀,我該說你什么好呢,你確實是個天才,是個人見人愛的天才,許多老師都喜歡你,說你是現代的曹雪芹,古代的賈平凹,大陸的周星馳,但無論如何,我都必須告訴你,《木蘭詩》你得抄寫一百遍。你要是不抄呢,我也沒辦法,但我只能告訴你,我會將你的心事公諸于眾,怎么樣,夠義氣吧?”

      晚飯后,我一個人悶在床上,想著明年高考以后的生活和歲月,我忽然這樣子想,如果能夠和季云朵生活在一起,豈不是浪漫至極呢?

      (2)愛在唐詩里相遇,卻從宋詞里別離

      一個瘋丫頭沖進我的視野里,我對著她大聲叫喊著:“馮雨路,如果你不把我的信還我,我會罵你的,罵你百遍也不厭倦。”

      馮雨路果斷地將信扔給了我,那一刻,信封里裝著的所有心事如雞毛一樣散落在風中。

      你愛上了季云朵,馮雨路晚上在寢室里摟著我問。

      怎么了,不可以嗎?我愛誰便喜歡誰,那個誰誰誰嗎?就像一只小老鼠每日里竄來竄去的,冷不丁地也會遇上一兩粒米的,“老鼠愛大米”嘛?

      可你是否知道,季云朵正在被人戀著,所有的初戀都鎖在那個錦盒里。

      不會吧,他與我們是同齡人,我怎么看他怎么像我的弟弟,整日里睡不醒、夢不驚的樣子,倒是看不出來。

      馮雨路環佩叮當地跑到我面前,向我透露一個天大的秘密,“怎么樣,打個賭,你敢不敢將那個錦盒給盜出來,我們也來個俠女闖天關,我倒想知道,他每日里茶不思飯不想的,連學業也荒廢了,卻將一個朽木般的錦盒死死地守著。”

      我答應下來,條件便是免費享受了一次校外的大餐。

      (3)如果赤道上沒有雪花,我想眼淚也無法融入細沙

      事件發生在某個夜自習下課后,季云朵出去喝酒去了,這可是這個年紀的大忌,但他幾乎每晚都糾集一幫狐朋狗友們,聚散離多地劃著拳,細數著無數個青春沿著酒杯無情的滑落后,在地板上碾落成泥。

      我終于逮住了良機,在馮雨路的配合下,我將手探向他的書桌里,我觸到了錦盒上的恐龍圖案,還有無數個線條不知刻畫了誰與誰相愛的誓言。

      我們像兩只精靈,打開了那個錦盒,里面只有一大堆的紙條,排列開來,堆積如山。我們細細地瞅著,上面竟然寫滿了季云朵的錚錚誓言,我的天呀,他一直在念著一位姑娘,而那位姑娘居然比他大十來歲,簡直可以讓他叫姑姑啦。

      馮雨路果敢地叫著:“看見了沒,這便是他的少年心事。”

      這怎么可能呢,不就是喜歡語文老師嗎?

      不會吧,兩個平日里冤家路窄的人,被人像捏泥人一樣湊在一起時,那該有多么地尷尬,他會說我愛你嗎,她會說,好吧,我嫁你,等我回家給老公和孩子商量下。

      那夜,我沒有說話,我惱怒的青春被一只凌空的利箭擊中了,我感到一種羞恥,一種被人挑逗過后的滑稽,一種跳進醋缸里被人撈出來后風干的錯覺。

      我很想告訴季云朵:“好小子,你的錦盒會永遠地跟你說再見的,就像老鼠永遠告別了大米。”

      (4)你的眼神遇到了夕陽,我便穿上了紅衣裳

      我和馮雨路都沒有想到,當季云朵知道自己心愛的錦盒永遠地消失后,他會采取如此決絕的動作,他消失了,像一只老鼠被人打死了踩暈了扔進了垃圾筒里,被垃圾車運遠了,運沒了。我的心事也跟著他的離開喧囂起來。

      我們找遍了這個城市所有的角落,包括那些人見人煩的垃圾場。我好想從某個地方將他揪起來,毫不客氣地左右開弓,罵他,打他,讓他求饒,然后對我說對不起,但這永遠不可能了。

      馮雨路淚如雨下,我則勸慰她:“不要傷心了,我們也是無心的。”

      不,我騙了你,我是故意讓你盜走他的錦盒,我不想讓他太沉湎于愛情的游戲中,明年我們都要高考,我是寵著愛著他才這樣做的。

      “什么,你寵他愛他,難道我就不是如此嗎。”我氣不打一處來,“你不該用感情的成份欺騙我。”

      古小姐,你錯了,季云朵,他是我的親人,是我同父異母的哥,他戀了上語文老師,不可開交地,大家都已經知道了,他找了個錦盒,在一年的時間里,寫滿了對語文老師的愛,我曾經偷偷地看過,我不想告訴父母,我想幫他,可我無助,我無法左右他的思想,我想到了你,我知道你會幫他的,因為你愛著他。

      我們連續給季云朵的手機里注入語言,可他一直保持著無法接通的狀態。電話打不通,便寫短信吧,我們發一條,便寫一條塞進錦盒里,我們想著,向往著,有一天,季云朵會像一只老鼠一樣從地洞里鉆出來,理直氣壯地站在我們面前說:“我已經闖過了自己的心結。”

      (5)歲月無法在你面前變遷,因為我蒙住了歲月的臉

      我們的錦盒已經塞滿了,我們的短信也已經發到了痛發到了恨,我們都抱怨起來,不就是個破落不堪的愛情嗎,難道可以用一年的時光去躲藏?

      當我看到語文老師咄咄逼人的樣子時,我好想站起身來,明目張膽地告訴她:“因為你,我們最愛的伙伴已經離開了這座城市,如今天涯已無芳草,請你不要再將我們當成你愛情的殖民地,不要再放縱自己已經殘剩無幾的青春。”

      春節前夕,我的手機里猛地跳出一行字來,我看了發信人號碼,欣喜若狂,是季云朵,原來,他在西藏。

      當我將季云朵雪藏自己的消息告訴馮雨路時,馮雨路大哭起來,她說道:“我已經無法再向家中瞞著了,我已經做好了最壞的打算,如果哥哥真的不在了,我也會為他找個嫂子的,我看你最合適啦,你們可以午夜零點在學校后面的小森林里相聚的。”

      我罵她烏鴉嘴。

      季云朵在高三的后半學期,用一個嶄新的面貌迎接依然愛著他的城市,他每天夜里都熬著通宵。他說他想將放縱過的青春找回來,在西藏的那段日子里,他已經學會了獨立的生活,已經知道了如何忍受失落與悲傷。我說好呀,我將寫滿祝福的錦盒鄭重地還給他,他放在嘴邊,不停地吮吸著,那一刻,他就是一個可愛的孩子。

      (6)愛情不讓我飛,我可以手舞足蹈

      他和他妹子離開的前期,我暫時扔掉了高考后的失落與彷徨,我不知如何挽留他們,我想著,這座城市需要他們,最真的,應該是一個人依依不舍地拽著他。

      他還是要走了,一臉的無助和無奈,他搖搖頭對我說著感謝之類的話,我則抬起頭來看天,他飛快地將錦盒塞進我的懷抱里,然后拉著妹子的手跑向遠方,馮雨路哭泣的聲音在天邊成了一種絕響。

      那段時間,我夜以繼日地翻看著那些曾經被風霜染透了的祝福:那些曾經的,已經經歷了3雙手的愛撫,它們依然以一種強健的姿態屹立在愛的枝頭;那些后來的,依然充滿了希望,它們如繁星點點,點燃了3個少年的希望;那些高考過后的,是他對這段青春的抓狂和對過去歲月的緬懷,如曲曲哀歌,敘述著我們離開后卻不得不面對的蒼涼。

      那一年的高考,我敗了北,我得知,馮雨路考上了北方的一座大學,而季云朵與我同樣從云端被扔了下來,我好想寫封信給他們,可信已經寫好了,卻不知郵向何方?

      又一年,我如愿地擠過了獨木橋。

      午后的陽光分外妖嬈。母親幫我整理錦盒,聽我嘮嘮叨叨地講述著一年前發生的像蛇一樣曲折的故事,母親準備將掏空了的錦盒拿出去清洗,她說里面已經發霉了,她卻突然間大叫我的名字:女兒,這里面,怎么有字?

      我暈頭轉向地接過錦盒,我看到錦盒的內壁上,彎彎斜斜地記載著季云朵的話,季云朵大致的意思是說:我愿意永遠等你。

      (7)風花過了,雪月卻依然在眼前閃爍

      馮雨路最終還不算是個好媒婆,她平日里嘰嘰喳喳地,卻最終沒能將我嫁出去,也沒有給她的好哥哥找個好的妻子,甚至,他們為了自己的顏面,沒有留下任何的聯系方式,哪怕是一個蒼涼的如楓橋夜泊般的地址。

      我只能告訴天,告訴地,我曾經被愛過,我也愛過別人,這一場零碎的青春大戰中,我依然是個勝者,我不會哭泣,因為風不答應,雨不愿意,我知道以后該用怎樣的一種愛慕補償愛了不敢出手的承諾。

      那一場零碎的青春呀,終于沒有在我的手里轉化為相約到老的現實,但我不后悔,畢竟,風花過了,雪月依然在眼前閃爍。

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